I used to teach a class for teachers working with behaviorally disabled kids, group care workers, anyone who worked with people who could become violent. I even did a brief overview for police officers once. I initially was a trainer for a particular company. Later I wrote my own with a large emphasis in self-awareness and self-responsibility in the beginning, to help them prevent themselves from putting themselves in legal risk.
One of the things I use to encourage them to do was to use everything to their advantage. When they got triggered to use it as an opportunity to clear whatever the trigger was related to in their own lives/history so the trigger would no longer be available for the people they were serving to push any longer. Very often people in my classes would not understand what I was talking about. Would blame the client/student/citizen for their reaction to the person’s behavior.
I used to work in locked psychiatric hospital units, group care and crisis centers and often saw staff exacerbate the acting out behaviors of the clients. How the two would escalate each other. I used this to my advantage to learn to track myself, my reactions, then later to track down what was being triggered in myself and clear it so I was not vulnerable to their issues any longer. This is very self-empowering.
Of course, back then there were not the same effective ways to clear things. Back then it was mostly trying to use the thinking brain to control or manage the reaction, to try to talk yourself into seeing it differently, acting differently. Then I learned a ton of energetic tools for clearing, and of course EMDR therapy came along, which really gets to the root of the issue.
It is sad to see my profession devolve back to trying to use cognitive rationalization, justification, control and management techniques instead of embracing tools that get to the root of the issue and resolve it. Since the thinking brain cannot resolve the where unconscious and subconscious material is stored that is driving current behavior. Of course, the insurance companies drive this as they only want to pay for things that can be quick and easy even if they do not resolve issues.
I recently have had the opportunity to watch some interviews with someone who is very out of the box. They are often interviewed by people who have some major issues. It has been amazing to watch how they just be the love and kindness they are and not get caught up in other people’s stuff. They don’t get triggered. They have done extensive work clearing their issues and live from an amazing place of joy and kindness. I have watched whole groups of people and individuals move from being in a very oppositional, judgmental place, to softening and seeing a totally different perspective. And, in some cases they cannot see other possibilities, but they do not become combative or judgmental but embracing of the person. It has been such a breath of fresh air. They embody the statement Ghandi made: “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
The thing is they are not trying to: “Be the change you want to see in the world.” They are not trying to act or think the right good way. They have simply done their own work and are the difference.
I invite you to use every opportunity you have to use your triggers as a way to clear the blocks you have being the authentic you that you have lost connection with. For some this is a long journey, and it takes time and patience, and commitment. For others you have bene on this journey a long time and can see how much change you have accomplished over the years. Timing and pacing is important. I have seen people try to go fast with this and fall apart. It takes time to integrate changes to create more stability. Too fast can be self-sabotaging resulting in old defensive patterns coming back stronger.
Discover tools for clearing. Use every opportunity. Of course, you will fall off the wagon and go back to old patterns. When you see it just pick yourself back up and pick up where you left off. It is all useful experience that brings you back home to the authentic you.
Take some time to enjoy the journey. Let the journey humor you. It makes the journey more interesting and even clearer.