There is a lot of controversy around research. In general, it can be useful. Specific to an individual, you really need to dive deeper into the results to see how it might apply to you.

We are used to seeing and hearing research results where they throw around numbers like something has a 98% success rate, but they may not be giving you all the information. I have watched the pharmaceutical companies over the years. They come out with a new drug that has been FDA approved so their research has shown enough safety and effectiveness for the FDA to approve it. Then 5-10 years later I see ads for class action lawsuits for those same medications. And, in some cases the drug is taken off the market. Why? Because now that the drug in open to the general population you can see more of the results across the spectrum of people.

It is very difficult to get really good dependable research when it comes to people. People are so different from each other, between races, genders, the environment they live in, how they have grown up, how much stress they are exposed to, how much support and care they have had in their lives, what their diets are like, what their sleep is like, and on and on. Trying to get consistent data is tough. Trying to account for all the variables is very difficult. Research can give some generalities but for specifics you have to really know yourself, what works for you and what does not.

I was talking with a colleague many years ago who told me of a study between two modalities of treatment. They both were showing high levels of effectiveness. But then they told me that in the study on one of the modalities that they had a 50% dropout rate from the study. So, in that case 50% of the people dropped out of the study before it was finished. With the majority of them stating it was too time intensive and too much work. But the modality was touted as highly effective. It was highly effective for a percentage of the 50% of the people who stayed in the study. But the 50% dropout rate is disregarded.

The other thing to be aware of is researchers typically throw out the top 20% and the bottom 20% of the results. That is 40% of the results! Every researcher I have talked to about this and said, “But you throw out 40% of the results.” Has looked at me like I am crazy and then when I say, “Well you throw out the top 20% and the bottom 20% that are not having the same results as the other 60%.” They suddenly have a recognition and say, “Oh, you mean the outliers.” They totally dismiss that the outliers are part of the equation.

So, if 60% of those who stay in the study get good results they say the drug or modality is effective. That is useful information. But what about the outliers? The other 40% Who are they? What did not work for them? What reactions did they have? Were there health issues that caused problems, what was different about their reactions. And what would work for them? Were they reacting to the additives and/or preservatives, or the drug itself?

Now they do list the “side effects” that can occur but they never look into what is causing it or how to identify who may have difficulty with the medication. They also tend to minimize the Black Box side effects. The ones that cause serious damage or death.

When you are looking at treatment modalities, again you can get some good general results when a large part of the population is having a good outcome. There are also specific details to look into. Like how experienced the practitioner is with the modality. How much experience they have with people in your circumstance and how successful are they in applying that modality to your circumstances.

So, I highly recommend you actually look at the research and notice what the retention rate was and what happened with the outliers. Also, being very aware of your body, how it works, what works for it and what does not, helps you make and informed decisions.

It use to be that medical doctors told you of the side effects and black box side effects so if you had a reaction you would know to call the doctor and come up with a new plan. Now, people are not told of side effects or the black box side effects.

Particularly in the field of mental health, prescribers are frequently using anti-psychotic medication to treat other mental health issues, like depression and bipolar. And they are using it as a first-time medication rather than for people who are not responding to the typical antidepressants or mood stabilizers.

A colleague of mine told me her daughter went to see a prescriber once and they prescribed her an anti-psychotic for mood stabilization. My colleague was horrified. They had never even offered the standard medications, the less toxic options. And they never told her what they were, how they worked, what the side effects and black box side effects were. Suffice it to say, she told her daughter to discard them and they found a new prescriber.

The problem is that anti-psychotics come with some serious side effects and a very serious black box side effect. And people are never told about them. Anti-psychotics can come with extra-pyramidal symptoms, muscles stiffness, tremors or involuntary movements. They are given another drug to address these symptoms. In some cases, particularly with long term use, a person can develop Tardive dyskinesia: involuntary repetitive movements like grimacing, lip-smacking and uncontrollable movements of limbs and torso. Tardive dyskinesia can become permanent.

When I worked on a locked psychiatric unit early in my career, we had a 17yo who had been on these medications for years and he had a very pronounced gate much like the old Quasimodo character in horror films from a very long time ago. This was a permanent disorder for him and he was only 17yo.

Now there are times that a person may choose to be on a drug that can cause serious long term issues, such as liver or kidney damage or even tardive dyskinesia, but they cannot make that choice if they are never fully educated about a drug and what side effects and black box side effects it can cause. People should at least be given a choice.

Ok, I will get off my soapbox now.

Please educate yourself and demand detailed information about your treatment modalities.

One of the things Dr. Shapiro discovered in her famous walk in the park, when her thoughts were moving from negative to positive, was that her eyes were moving laterally and rapidly. Hence the name Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing. EMDR started out as EMD, Eye Movement Desensitization. Initially it was observed that a memory that was targeted became desensitized. As experience progressed it was noticed that people were accessing other memories besides the initial target, thus Reprocessing was added to the name. We still use EMD in certain circumstances as needed to contain overwhelming emotions to desensitize.

Dual Focus

One of the things we know is that for EMDR reprocessing to be effective a person has to be able to dual focus. There are two components to that.

1. You have to be able to pay attention to what you are experiencing during the reprocessing at the same time you are watching the visual bilateral stimulation, eye movement tools for facilitating your eye movements.

2. You also have to stay present in present time as you are observing what occurred in the past. When people lose present time, they often relive the memory not reprocess it. Essentially, they are flashing back to the past and it feels like it is happening to them right now. With dual focus, being anchored in present time disrupts how the memory is stored.

When you are doing eye movements, because your eyes are open, you stay in present time, you have to move your eyes back and forth and notice what is coming up (different aspects of the memory, sights, sounds, smells, tastes, sensations, beliefs, locations, circumstances, other memories).

Essentially when you focus on two things at once you are taxing working memory. Focusing on two things at once does not allow you to do either effectively. Although there are a lot of people who would disagree with that. But this is how the brain works. It also disrupts how the components of memories are stored. Images become less vivid, more distant, sometimes go to black and white, sometimes fade altogether. Sounds fade, tastes and smells go away. Uncomfortable or painful sensations become neutral. Ways you view the memory and beliefs about yourself change and become more accurate, neutral, positive.

I can’t tell you how many times when a client finishes reprocessing a memory, they report that the memory is irrelevant. And this can be horrific memories. It is stunning! “It doesn’t matter.” “It is in the past and does not matter any longer.” “It’s over.”

Bilateral Stimulation - Eye Movements * Tactile * Auditory

When I started with EMDR in 1991 eye movements were all we used. As more clinicians were using it more and more feedback came in that some people were having difficulty with eye movements. Clinicians began using other forms of bilateral stimulation, tactile and auditory. I am also trained as a body-centered psychotherapist, so I had a propensity toward using more tactile means. Of course there was no research on any of this back then.

One of the things I began to notice over time was that my clients were not getting the same depth of change with tactile and/or auditory bilateral stimulation. So, I returned to doing eye movements and to both myself and my clients’ surprise they were getting better results and more depth of change.

The research is now bearing that out. All three tax working memory. What does that mean? Here is a research article if you that may give you more specific details.

Essentially eye movements are three times more effective. But tactile and auditory do work.

I find that most people are not even offered eye movements, which should always be the number one choice. I have had many clients over the decades who had never even been offered eye movements. In all cases they had a much more efficient and deeper change with eye movements. Some were really angry they were never offered the option in their previous EMDR sessions.

It seems that some clinicians offer what they prefer instead of starting with eye movements and then offering alternatives if needed.

Now the other thing to be aware of is that you may not like it, or think you cannot do it, or that it is too hard. I use eye movements with my clients 100% of the time, unless there is a physical issue that prevents them from being safe. How do I do that?

People seem to have to learn to do eye movements, in this day and age. When I started in the 1990’s it was not an issue. People could do them with relative ease. I have to teach people how to do them now. First of all, everyone does them when they are sleeping. Your eyes move rapidly when you are in REM sleep, so you are physically capable. I find much of what makes it hard is people are looking back and forth rather than letting their eyes slip back and forth. There is nothing to look at. Everything may very well be blurry; it does not need to be in focus. The strain they are experiencing is that they are looking, trying to focus, not relaxing and letting the eyes slip. Essentially, they have to let go of their eyes to let them slip. This resolves 99% of the problem.

It can make a difference if people are looking up slightly, at eye level, or looking down slightly. Trying each is how you discover which works best.

Sometimes it can take a month or two to learn to let eyes slip. But this is also true of learning to let go and let whatever happens happen in reprocessing. It can be a learning curve.

Dry eyes are another issue that comes up for many. If your eyes become irritated and you have trouble with slipping your eyes it could be because your eyes are too dry. This can be a simple fix. Clients often make sure they bring artificial tears or eye drops their eye doctor has recommended so they can use them during session. Of course, you can always ask your eye doctor and EMDR practitioner to consult with each other as well.

Speed of eye movements makes a difference as well. The eyes have to go fast enough for reprocessing to occur but not so fast that it is distracting. It can take some time to find that sweet spot. I find people often start out slower and with time as they learn to let go and let their brain do what it knows how to do, they are able to speed up their eye movements, which means reprocessing occurs faster as well.

Reprocessing vs thinking. – If you are thinking you are not reprocessing

One of the things I began to notice is that some people were only reporting changes in the memory we started with, and no other memories were popping in and out. I realized they were thinking and desensitizing but not reprocessing. I had to ask certain questions to see what they were experiencing.

This is not unusual since we tend to be control freaks and have to hold on and control everything. I did not see this as much when I first started learning EMDR in 1991. People were easily able to just watch what occurred and let whatever happen, happen. When a client is first starting to reprocess, I have to check in regularly to see what they are experiencing in the process itself, not just the change in emotions and content. This is one of the things I spend time on in Phase 2 of EMDR therapy now to prepare people to be able to dual focus and letting whatever happens happen.

Make sure you take your time and BE PATIENT. Allow yourself to learn what works for you with eye movements.

Now of course if you have physical issue where rapid eye movements will injure your eyes then do not do eye movements. This is where tactile or audio are great alternatives. I have had clients who had detached retinas and could not use eye movements. I did notice there was a depth of change they did not get but their results were still very good.

Do make sure that if you are using audio or tactile that you keep your eyes open while reprocessing. It is very easy to lose present time, dissociate, or relive a memory when eyes are closed. Remember dual focus. Taxing that working memory is what disrupts how the memory(ies) are stored. Keeping eyes open will help you get effective change.

DO NOT DO EYE MOVEMENTS ON YOUR OWN!!! Why? Without proper assessment and stabilization, you can get yourself into real suffering. Some people need specialty protocols. Right now, I am talking about the Standard Protocol. Not everyone can do the standard protocol right out of the box. Plus, there are interventions that often have to happen during the reprocessing that you will not have the training for. I know there are people who do demonstrations and post them on the internet making it look easy, but it is not always easy. And can be extremely harmful.

If anything, EMDR has taught me is that what I think will happen is not necessarily what will happen. In the early days what I thought would be easy to change would take a turn into a network of memories that was both surprising for the client and really difficult to reprocess. In other cases what I thought was going to be a huge deal would clear quickly. What EMDR taught me in the early days is that staying out of the way and having no expectations or agenda was the most effective for the person’s progress.

There are some people who have absolutely no memory of some pretty horrific memories. The brain does a lot to protect us when needed. At some point when a person’s innate wisdom feels the person has enough life experience, or resources now available, those memories come forward so they can be reprocessed. Doing eye movements on your own can speed that process up without the life experience or resources being in place.

Again, you should always be started with using eye movements for reprocessing, unless of course you have a physical condition with your eyes where rapid eye movements could cause harm. It can take three to six months for a person to learn to slip their eyes with ease. It takes some good coaching from a clinician to develop this capacity in some cases. You may find yourself eventually able to do much faster eye movements than when you started. This is a good sign. The faster the eye movements go the more quickly memory networks are reprocessed.

Now that you have your first Reprocessing Plan ready to go, you typically start with the youngest memory to reprocess. Why? It is the seed that planted the whole tree. The pattern of behavior, emotions, sensations, difficulties you are trying to change. It is the most efficient way to reprocess memory networks.

The cool thing about the brain is it is very efficient at reprocessing. It will not only desensitize the memory but will reprocess other memories as well. So other memories that have some similar association may also be reprocessed. This is what I love about EMDR therapy.

In the early days of EMDR, when it was only a technique, the memory targeted would be desensitized and symptoms would improve. But we started to notice that symptoms would sometimes return. EMDR started to get a reputation that it worked for a while but then stopped working. What I love about the EMDR community is, we don’t say it doesn’t work, we start asking and researching what will work. It has evolved to this 8 phase model of therapy all to itself. It is no longer a technique.

We started realizing there were many memories that could be driving the same symptoms, patterns of behavior, emotional states and so on. The three-prong plan was developed.

The Past Prong makes a comprehensive list of memories related to the Presenting Issue. For instance, if your Presenting Issue is being abused or feeling abused, you will have a list of memories when you were abused, or felt abused, physically, emotionally and/or sexually. If your Presenting Issue is being or feeling abandoned, you would have a list of memories when you were or felt abandoned.

When you are ready to reprocess your first memory, if you choose the youngest memory, the first time it happened, when you reprocess the brain will rapidly and spontaneously revisit other memories of the same kind of thing happening. This is what reprocessing is. This is why it is so efficient.

The youngest memory can take a long time to reprocess in some cases because it is accessing a lot of memories in the network. By the time you move up the list of memories you will find some are already less upsetting and some are completely resolved because earlier memories that were reprocessed cleared those as well. Often when I go up the list of memories with people, they are amazed, and relieved that they did not have to do all of them. It takes a lot of work sometimes to put the past list together, but it pays off in a big way later. You get to see more of the progress made than if you did not. The more memories on the list the more opportunity for the brain to access memories that were not consciously recalled. There are always more memories in the other than conscious parts of the brain than in the conscious parts of the brain.

Sometimes people start with later memories because of some difficult circumstances. It is not as efficient and sometimes does not work (remember when I mentioned in Part 5 about the woman whose recent sexual assault would not resolve and it turned out she had two previous assaults. Once she cleared the earlier ones the recent one was resolved). But in complex circumstances it can be a way to start and build capacity for reprocessing.

Phase 3: Assessing a Target Memory for Reprocessing

As we talked about before, memories have different components, sights, sounds, smells, tastes, beliefs, thoughts, sensations.

So, in Phase 3, we are assessing the most upsetting part of the memory to activate the components so we can start reprocessing.

When you bring up the most upsetting part of the memory, we start with an image, which tends to start the activation already. Then look for the negative self-referencing belief about yourself that you experience today when recalling that worst part of the memory. Notice we are not asking what you believed about yourself back when that memory was happening. We are looking at how the memory is affecting you right now.

Core Beliefs Are Not Thoughts

This is one of the most challenging parts of starting to reprocess a memory. Especially in this day and age. Everyone is up in their head thinking. The thing is, if you are thinking you are not reprocessing. So, experiencing the difference is quite a challenge for some people.

Beliefs are short, one liner I statements that tend to bring up emotion. Thought often is a way the brain tries to manage things by avoiding emotion. Some examples of core beliefs are: “I’m not good enough.” “I can’t trust myself.” “I’m not safe.”

We are conditioned to go into a bunch of explanation, rationalization and justification for out thoughts. That is not a core belief. Explanation, rationalization and justification are not only conditioning but also a way to keep the pain at bay. Which is useful until the backlog of internal suffering becomes too much and symptoms become too much, often unmanageable. We go for the core belief that is driving the symptoms.

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After you have identified an image and negative self-referencing belief, you will choose a positive self-referencing belief you would like to have instead when thinking of the memory. And you will measure how true it currently feels when you recall the memory. This will be used later in reprocessing and could change after reprocessing upsetting material.

Once we have completed those two cognitive processes, we get things activated to start the reprocessing. We have you bring up the image and the negative self-referencing belief and notice what emotions show up, how upsetting it feels, and where you experience the upset in your body. Then we start the reprocessing of the memory and other memories in the network that may arise.

You don’t have to hold all of this. Your EMDR practitioner should know how to do this. It is most important that you are experiencing what you are experiencing as you and your clinician are assessing the memory target for reprocessing. I just thought you should have some awareness of the assessment process.

When you have an experience there are a number of things you are experiencing all at once. Sights, sounds, smells, thoughts, tastes, sensations, beliefs and so on. Each of these components is stored in different parts of the brain. So, when you have a memory arise you will often have many of these components arise at the same time.

The sights, sounds, smells, tastes, physical sensations are all stored in the unconscious parts of the brain. You can’t use your thinking to change them. The thinking part of your brain is in the prefrontal lobe.

Let’s say you are driving down the road and suddenly a song comes on and you are suddenly flooded with sights, sounds, smells, emotions, thoughts from a particular memory that happened when you were in junior high school/middle school. You suddenly feel like you are 13 or 14 years old. You might feel ashamed or humiliated. But nothing bad is actually happening to you in the moment. You are reliving the memory.

This is why in EMDR therapy we work from the Adaptive Information Processing Model, which essentially say past experiences drive current behavior. If those past experiences are adaptive, you will have a positive or neutral experience. If those past experiences are maladaptive, you will have a maladaptive experience.

I often say to people that if you want to clear a lot of maladaptive experiences out just listen to songs you listened to in your early years. I know if I react to a song from my past, and get a flood of memories that I need to take some time to reprocess those memories, so they no longer inform my current experiences and choices.

The other than conscious parts of your brain can process billions of bits of information per second. Your prefrontal cortex only processes 6 bits of information per second. So, trying to think your way into change really cannot occur unless the other than conscious parts of memories also change.

In EMDR therapy we use rapid lateral eye movements to reprocess old memories that are still driving current thoughts, emotions, sensations, beliefs, etc.

When we use rapid eye movements it prevents us from thinking. Thinking is basically conditioning from the outside world in how you should do things, what is acceptable and what is not. How you view the world that will be different from how others have experienced the world, or how it is the same as some people have experienced the world. All that is fine and good in some situations, like not hurting someone. But it can also be a huge problem if you are attacking yourself based on external conditioning that is detrimental to you and or society.

When we reprocess maladaptive memories in EMDR therapy, we bring up different components of the memory (sights, negative self-belief, emotions, physical sensations) to activate it and then start the reprocessing.

When a memory is reprocessed the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, physical sensations, self-beliefs that were painful become neutral. People often report the memory is neutral, has no charge, even in the past and no longer relevant. I am always amazed at how someone starts with a particularly horrific memory causing so much suffering, and ends up saying the memory is irrelevant, is over and in the past once it is reprocessed.

There is no thinking involved in this process so the brain can actually neutralize the other components of memories.

Now the brain already knows how to do this. Notice that there are some memories you have that when you think of them, they are just old memories. They may seem faded and really do not bring up a lot of components. That is a memory your brain reprocessed on its own. Then if you think of other memories that bring up uncomfortable or painful components to the memory, those memories have not yet reprocessed.

Why did they not reprocess. Sometimes the experiences were so big it was overwhelming and the reprocessing does not occur. Sometimes the same thing keeps happening over and over so it is never really done, and it gets stuck.

The brain cannot reprocess it. I think of EMDR therapy as a way to jump-start the brain’s natural capacity to move to health. Once we do a reprocessing session the person’s brain continues to reprocess during the week between sessions. So, a lot gets done.

It is important to remember that if you are having an inflated reaction to a current situation that is actually benign, that it is because there is a sight, sound, smell, taste, sensation, situation, location, personality type, (all are components of memory) in the present circumstance that is linked to a previous memory that was unpleasant or traumatic.

The good news about the brain is it links similar experiences together as a way to make it easier to negotiate new circumstances with previous experience. For instance. I get in a car for the first time and learn some things about driving a car, adjusting the rear-view mirror, adjusting my seat, looking out all windows before pulling out, engaging the gas, break and clutch pedals, and so on. Next time I get in a car I already have some familiarity and can draw on that past experience to engage in the process again. Each time I get in the car I develop more and more familiarity. Eventually I don’t have to think through in detail each thing I have to do in the car to drive it. It has become automatic. Neuropathways in my brain have been built to handle it from past experiences.

Now I get into a car that is a different make and model, and this one has a clutch. So essentially much of what I already know automatically applies, I may need to find where some of the components are, but now I have to learn to negotiate a clutch and gas pedal and brake pedal together. The repetition of doing so will build new neuropathways in my brain and it will become automatic.

Then I get into my new hybrid car. Although I have many decades of experience driving a car, this one is not a manual transmission. I have some previous experience to draw on driving an automatic transmission, that my brain can draw on, and it takes a bit of time driving an automatic transmission for it to become automatic again. Some of those old neuropathways have atrophied and are not as strong as they once were. Now I have to go through the repetition of driving the automatic transmission for a while for it to become an automatic process for me. It does not take as long as learning a new skill.

This hybrid car has many, many new functions my old ones did not. So, I now need the repetition of using the various new functions for it to become automatic.

If you are triggered by something in present time (let’s say that song on the radio) there is nothing wrong with you. It is just something in the current environment is alerting you to an old memory or memory networks (more than one memory) that the brain has not yet reprocessed.

It is actually an opportunity to clear an old memory, or memories. The reaction is not always fun but can be empowering when you are aware of what is occurring and if you have a practitioner who knows how to help you clear components of memory that are not accessible through thinking. Or if you have gathered a multitude of modalities you use yourself.

Now that being said, for some memories (or memory networks) you will need the help of a practitioner if addressing the memory(ies) will overwhelm you. The whole reason the brain did not reprocess it on its own is something blocked that from happening.

I hope this explanation will help some of you to stop attacking yourself over reactions that are just your innate wisdom prompting you to health. The symptoms are merely telling you that old memories have not yet reprocessed and are ready to change. Whether you need to reach out to a professional who has the skills to guide you as needed, or you are seasoned at clearing past experiences and have tools to do so, please listen to yourself and clear the memories.

The benefit is you do not get triggered by the memory components from unprocessed memories any longer. It frees you up to respond from who you are authentically instead of having to use managing mechanisms to get through the symptoms. Symptoms only arise when things are not yet reprocessed.

One of the things that often happens when someone is clearing old memories of trauma is a sudden feeling of emptiness inside. Of feeling something is missing if they let go of the trauma. Of feeling they will not know who they are any longer.

“Who will I be if I let this go?”

“You can’t take this away from me or I’ll have nothing.”

“If I let this go there will be a big hole in me.”

This is an existential crisis.

This can happen because we define ourselves based on our life experiences. If those experiences have been detrimental and/or traumatizing, and happen repeatedly, our personality is a result of those experiences. The foundation of our experience and definition of ourselves is shaken. It can feel like the bottom will drop out from under us. Even though the change is exactly what we have always wanted. It is just that our fantasy of how things will change is not in alignment with who we really are.

If we are brought up by parents who live from their authenticity, who were mentored to live from who they really are and supported to really step into their innate gifts and capacities, then we would receive the same kind of upbringing. It used to be that the grandparents did most of the child raising since the parents were out making a living. Which worked out really well since the grandparents had a lot more life experience and had worked through much of their youthful challenges. Grandparents usually had the capacity to see the bigger picture.

Now a days kids often do not have grandparents around and are cared for by strangers. Some of those strangers may have some good skills and some just need a job and are not well versed in the intricacies of child rearing. Very often very young with little experience.

There are many very important foundational developments that occur starting in utero up through teen years. These developments build either a stable or unstable foundation for life.

If you have had little in the way of positive, or even neutral experiences growing up, then you are missing some key internal resources.

In EMDR therapy this is something we recognized and made adaptations to the model. We added Phase 2, Preparation and Stabilization. We identify what kind of internal resources someone has and what needs to be built in for the person to successfully reprocess traumatic memories. This is particularly crucial for those who have had extensive traumatic experiences.

I think of this phase as assessing for, and if needed, as building a core stable foundation so that the bottom won’t drop out from underneath the person. And they can let go of the old experiences that they have defined themselves from, in a limiting way.

It is even more exciting when someone can let go of the old and just observe their natural state arise spontaneously and fill in the gap. I love helping clients identify who they really are, before the trauma and conditioning, then strengthening who they really are so they can feel more core stability before taking on reprocessing traumatic material.

It is actually a good thing when someone reaches the crucial point of redefining themselves from Truth rather than the lies and limitations that arise from trauma, neglect and so on. It is not comfortable when it arises, but it is a good indicator that major progress is about to happen.

Doing good internal resource building prior to reprocessing traumatic material lays good groundwork for this transition when it arises. The resources are available to slide in and take the place of the traumatic experiences. People often have impressive improvement in Phase 2 before moving to the reprocessing phases. And those resources become even more available as the trauma is resolved.

If you have had the experience of being afraid you will not know who you are if you let the trauma go, there was nothing wrong. It was just an indicator you were leaving the old definitions of self, based on trauma, neglect, etc. and stepping into who you really are. You just need the help and support to make the transition.

When it comes time to reprocess memories you will return to your Master Treatment Plan from Phase 1, choose your first Presenting Complaint and create a Reprocessing Plan for that complaint. For each Presenting Complaint you will make a list of as many specific past memories as you can find where you had that experience going all the way back to the first time you had the experience. It is an important timeline to really clean out the memory networks that drive the Presenting Complaint

What are Memory Networks?

Think of it this way. Every experience you have colors how you see yourself, others and circumstance. We have a ton of memories every day. Your brain actually knows how to reprocess memories spontaneously on its own. You have some difficult memories, that when you think of them, they do not have any charge physically or emotionally, and they do not bring up really upsetting thoughts. It just feels like an old memory, and it may have been difficult, but you may have gained valuable lessons, awareness or learning from it that you use in the future. (EMDR’s AIP Model (Adaptive Information Processing).

You have other memories that when you think of them you have distressing physical and/or emotional reaction to them and they bring up distressing thoughts or beliefs. Those memories the brain has not reprocessed yet. Something interfered. Sometimes that is because it was so overwhelming, or it kept happening over and over so the brain could not reprocess it. And you keep getting triggered by similar circumstances, sights, sounds, locations, smells, a tone of voice, a type of personality, and so on, because the memory has not yet reprocessed. This is what Dr. Shapiro discovered. And, then how to reprocess them memories so they are no longer driving current thoughts, and actions, emotions and sensation from a distressing perspective.

When we choose a Presenting issue from the Master Treatment Plan and create a plan for reprocessing the memories that contribute to the issue.

Past Prong: Past Memories

You will list past memories from present time back to when this Presenting Issue started. You won’t need to find all of them from the time the issue started to present time to clear out the pattern. But you will need to find memories representative through time to make sure the network of negative experiences clears out. If you have big gaps in time between memories it is likely that some of the memory networks will not be accessed and cleared during reprocessing.

Present Prong: Present Triggers

Present Prong - you will make a list of things that trigger you to experience that presenting issue. Ie: any time you get called to the boss’s office, any time you drive by a location where the issue occurred, any time you hear a particular song. A trigger is a part of a memory, ie: a sight, sound, location, tone of voice, an authority figure.

Making a list of Present Triggers is a way you will check to see if the negative memory networks were cleared out after reprocessing all the past memories. If you are still getting triggered after clearing all the past memories, there are still some memories that have not yet been processed. Memories of when you were triggered will be reprocessed.

Future Prong: Future Templates

Past Prong - For every trigger you list in the Present Prong you will do a Future Template to build in more adaptability. By building in more adaptability for the future you will have more resilience when challenges come up in life.

Once the plan is complete you will choose the youngest memory to reprocess. Why the youngest? Because it is the seed that planted the whole dysfunctional tree. It is very efficient to process the youngest first because once you start reprocessing your brain will spontaneously link into other memories with similar components (circumstances, locations, sights, sounds, smells, tastes, personality types and so on).

People usually want to target the most recent incident first. Mostly because you are not aware of how the past is actually driving the current experience. When you reprocess the earliest memory first, it will often change other memories in the list. This often makes later memories easier to reprocess since they will be less upsetting than when you started the plan. It is the most efficient way to resolve past memories.

Reprocessing more recent memories first is not very efficient since it is sitting on top of years of other memories. Often a recent memory will not clear completely because there are earlier memories that are informing the present memory in a maladaptive way.

For instance. Someone came to me once saying they were helping someone clear a recent experience of sexual abuse, but the memory would not clear. My question to them was, “Have they ever been sexually abused before?” The answer was yes, two other times. So, they went back and cleared the first time it happened and then the second. Once those two were done they were surprised that the most recent memory was now clear and did not need to be reprocessed.

I know this doesn’t make sense, but much of what I do does not make sense. When I did the things that made sense clients did not get change. Now I do what works.

My clients are often shocked that clearing earlier memories suddenly shows up as them handling things much differently in present time without even thinking about it. It just is easy, and in many cases, they didn’t even realize they were doing things differently until we evaluated what was changing after every reprocessing session.

If you have a severe history of abuse, neglect, etc., your therapist may use specialty protocols and interventions to take some charge out of a memory in parts to make it easier to reprocess the whole thing.

Phase 2 can look very different for each person. It depends on what your background is. There are a number of capacities you need to be able to reprocess memories safely and effectively.

So again, looking at your foundation and what is needed for you to be successful in the reprocessing phases.

• You must have enough core stability to feel safe in letting things change.

• You need to have a good relationship with your therapist so that you can let them support you, especially if difficult memories come up.

• You need to be able to dual focus. This mean you have to be able to stay in present time while recalling past experiences, so you reprocess a memory, not relive it. It also means you have to be able to do two things at once. Internally watch the old memory while moving your eyes during reprocessing. This takes some practice for many people.

• You also need to be able to let whatever happens happen. This means that if you have emotions come and go you allow that to occur. If a physical sensation gets worse, you can just observe and let it change. When other memories come up you just observe them so your innate wisdom can do its job.

• There may be other skills or capacities you will need as well. So, you may need to do some or extensive resource development. Everyone is different.

• You will need to stay in window of tolerance: be able to bring a memory to mind with enough disturbance for reprocessing to occur, and not get overwhelmed by the memory(ies) so reprocessing can occur. This means you will need a variety of tools for self-regulation if a lot of upset occurs. Since you continue to reprocess in between sessions you may need these tools to support you as reprocessing continues.

• You will need to be able to give your clinician enough information both during reprocessing (without going into detail), and what happened between session. This allows them to know where to guide you next.

  • EMDR is not talk therapy, so you have to give BRIEF feedback so your therapists knows where to guide you next.

  • The longer you talk you will lose where you left off physically and emotionally, and restarting the eye movements may not work as well.

  • Your prefrontal cortex can be very good at going into defensive/protective mode and you lose the moment of change.

  • With EMDR therapy the longer you talk the less you get done.

In Phase 2 I use various tools to prepare someone for reprocessing. The tools I use helps both myself and my client see what internal resources they have and build in anything that is missing. If there has been extensive trauma it may take quite some time to complete Phase 2. I help people build a core sense of self and stability so they will be able to reprocess memories. Many people experience improvement in their circumstances with Phase 2 work before getting to the reprocessing. These same tools are often helpful if someone gets stuck in reprocessing.

Some of the skills and internal resources you will develop in Phase 2 will use slow eye movements to strengthen your experience of the resources. For me, I am looking for clients to have the “felt sense” of the resource, not just an imagination of the resource as it is often a fantasy reality of the resource and is not embodied when allows the resource to show up spontaneously.

For instance, let’s say you would like to be able to feel more confident when disagreeing with someone. If you have the “felt sense” of feeling confident when you engage with somone who may disagree with you, you may find yourself spontaneously not taking in their upset or discomfort because you are feeling more confident in speaking up. Sometimes you may not notice a change, but others may comment or compliment you in handling things differently that you were not even aware of. There really is not force of effort once a resource is embodied. (That is my body-centered psychotherapy training talking.)

Slow eye movements will strengthen and enhance experience. We only use it with positive or neutral resources. We do not want to link into anything negative in this phase, so we go slow.

This gives you the opportunity to become familiar with eye movements and learn how to dual focus. Dual focus is literally doing two things at once. Moving eyes while paying attention to what you are experiencing internally. Notice the attention is on your internal experience not what the eyes are seeing or looking at. The other part of dual focus is to be able to look at and notice your internal experience while staying in present time. This is not about going back in time and reliving a memory. That is what talk therapy does, and it is often retraumatizing. Looking at the memory from present time is what disrupts how it is stored.

Once you have completed Phase 2, you return to Phase 1 for treatment planning.

You will choose a Presenting Issue to address and Create a Reprocessing Plan for that Presenting Issue.

One of the things to know about the phases is that you will be revisiting them. They do not go in order 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and you are done. You will be moving around them until all of your Presenting Issues are resolved, meaning your symptoms will no longer be present.

Phase 1: History Taking & Treatment Planning

When you start therapy, your therapist needs to do a Biopsychosocial history to identify:

• What have you come to therapy to resolve?

• What your life experience has been like. Your life experiences create how you perceive and experience the world.

  • Developmentally, starting from in utero, there are many very important activities and experiences that form a core stable foundation. If you do not have them or they have been breached the core foundation is not stable. You are missing resources not available to you for negotiating even simple things in life: focus, attention, impulse control, skills in math & reading, sensory integration, emotional regulation. This is like building a house. If you build the house on a swamp, it will eventually collapse under pressure. If you build it on a strong, stable foundation it will support you.

Visit “What Does Your Foundation Look Like?” for more information.

• What has your ability to be and feel connected to others been like.

• Do you have a sense of safety and security?

• Can you identify what you need, and can you get your needs met?

• Have you experienced losses? How many and how far back in life?

• Have you experienced physical, emotional or sexual abuse. How often and how far back in life?

• Have you experienced medical trauma? When, what kind and how often?

• What medications and supplements are you on? Do you use substances? What, how often and is there a dependency and/or addiction? If you do have a hx of dependency/addiction, for how long and is it current?

  • Some medications block your ability to reprocess.

  • Some drugs and medicinal plants specifically work to block emotions and sensations. This means when you attempt to reprocess a memory the emotions and sensation related to that memory cannot be accessed for reprocessing.

  • There are ways to work with all of this in Phase 2 so reprocessing can be successful.

• How do you take care of yourself (diet, exercise, sleep, etc.)

• How do you handle stress? What tools to you have, do you use them and do they work for you?

• What does your support system look like?

• Can you dual focus? Stay in present time will recalling memories. Observe your internal experience while moving your eyes.

• Can you observe old memories without reliving them.

• Can you allow yourself to move from upset to positive emotional experiences?

• What internal resources you have and what is missing.

• What you will need to be successful in EMDR therapy.

• This helps identify what you will need in Phase 2 to prepare you for reprocessing memory targets, and make sure you have the internal stabilization needed to handle what may come up when reprocessing memories.

Once the history has been gathered and reviewed. It is helpful to create what I call a Master Plan. A Master Plan is where you identify Presenting Issues (what you want to resolve). These could be:

• Negative beliefs: I’m not good enough. I never do anything right. I don’t have a right to exist. I’m a burden

• Patterns of behavior: overreacting when someone gives you feedback, lashing out in anger if someone disagrees with you, wanting to isolate and avoid people.

• Emotional Patterns: Feeling something is wrong with you, powerless, unsafe, like you don’t belong

• Having been abused (physically, sexually and/or emotionally)

This Master Plan is a working document that you can add to as you progress in your EMDR therapy. It is helpful to list symptoms you experience at the beginning of therapy and the Presenting Issues. This way as you work your way through your therapy process you will be able to see things resolve. My clients find this helpful because they can track and see their progress.

People usually have more than one Presenting Issue when they start therapy, so this is a good way to keep track of things and make sure everything is resolved.

Then you move to Phase 2.

If you decide to do EMDR therapy this will help you understand some of what the process is. Things are not linear in EMDR therapy and yet they are in some ways. But people are not linear beings either, as much as everyone in most circumstances attempt to try to make us linear.

One of the things I often say to my clients is that nothing I do makes sense. The things I did that made sense did not work in freeing people from limitations. The things I do that don’t make sense tend to facilitate change. EMDR is one of those things.

It is important to know that once you have the experience of EMDR in the different phases, then the light bulb turns on and a whole new awareness opens up. This includes therapists. When they come to EMDR training they will try to fit EMDR therapy into what they already know. But it does not fit. Other modalities can fit into phase 2 of EMDR therapy but how we conceptualize what is going on the build plans for reprocessing memory networks is very different. Therapists are often surprised and even shocked at how fast things can change when they experience the practicum part of the training.

I often tell my clients, there is a method to my madness and once they have the experience of the different phases and parts of the plans for reprocessing, things will open up in a whole new way.

It is often hard for people to do EMDR therapy because they don’t “understand” it. Most often this comes from the fantasy that they just come to session and the therapist waves their hand in front of them and they get better. This perspective comes from way back at the start of EMDR therapy when it was new and just a technique. It has evolved into a full blown 8 phase protocol. And depending on the person and their extent of trauma, neglect, abandonment, etc., it can take a while to prepare them for being able to reprocess memories. Sometime extensive preparation and specialty protocols depending on the circumstances.

There are many therapists who have taken the EMDR training in the past, and especially in the beginning who have not kept up on the changes. So the information they pass on is no longer accurate. The EMDR International Association encourages EMDR practitioners to repeat the Basic training periodically to keep up on the changes.

The good news about the EMDR community is that we don’t say it doesn’t work we ask how it could work for people with more complicated circumstances. So much had been developed over the decades.

8 Phases

As I mentioned before, EMDR therapy is not a technique. It was when I first learned it (1991). Dr. Shapiro had only been teaching EMDR for a couple of years. Not much was known about it back then, only that it seemed to have promising results.

Dr Shapiro did a really smart thing; she created a newsletter and invited people she trained to send in the results they had with the clients they worked with. To give feedback on what seemed to work and not work with various mental health issues. She also really pushed for research.

Over time it was clear some people had difficulty reprocessing. Reprocessing was overwhelming for people with severe and complicated histories of abuse, neglect, addiction and so on. What I love about the EMDR community is that we don’t say it doesn’t work. We ask how could it work for that population? This is how EMDR as a technique evolved into its own form of psychotherapy. And, how other protocols were developed for more complicated circumstances.

We realized we had to do extensive work to create stability for someone with severe and complicated histories to be able to handle reprocessing. Protocols for building internal resources that can create internal stability.

I had been working in locked psychiatric programs, social service programs, and mental health programs with people who have a great deal of trauma, neglect, abandonment and worse from early in their lives and throughout their lives. They did not do well with reprocessing. It became my mission to find what could create the internal stability.

There are eight phases in EMDR therapy. They do not go in order. You will be moving in and out of phases as you progress in your therapy.

What do we do in EMDR therapy?

I will continue with describing the phases in the next post.

EMDR therapy is a completely different kind of therapy than you may have encountered before. EMDR therapy is a completely different way to conceptualize what is causing distress in someone’s life. It is not like traditional forms of psychotherapy that focus on trying to change cognitions and behaviors, to change things. EMDR therapy does not try to control or manage symptoms. It is a steep learning curve for most therapists. You have to unlearn what you have learned to be proficient at EMDR therapy. There is much to learn from a very different perspective.

Dr Francine Shapiro, the originator of EMDR therapy, discovered that rapid lateral eye movements while recalling a disturbing memory desensitized the memory and reprocessed memories with similar components at the same time.

She realized that we all have an innate capacity to move towards health psychologically. Just like how our body can heal cuts on its own. When something difficult, challenging or overwhelming happens, as we get through it our innate capacity to heal kicks in. We often learn things from the experience that we can apply to future circumstances.

If you have spontaneously reprocessed a memory, when you recall the memory, it will have less and eventually no physical or emotional charge to it. It will not bring up negative thoughts. It may look faded or distant or black and white. People often report that it is just an old memory and not relevant any longer. These are just some ways people describe the difference in a memory after it has been reprocessed.

Sometimes circumstances interfere with our ability to reprocess a memory organically. For instance, the physical or emotional experience was too overwhelming. Or something interfered with our ability to learn from the experience and apply the learning to the future. Or the same thing kept happening over and over, so we never get over it.

When we have an experience that has a component of a previous memory (sights, sound, smells, sensation, location, similar circumstance, etc.) we will react much like we did in the previous experience.

Essentially past experiences inform present circumstances. What Dr. Shapiro called the AIP Model (Adaptive Information Processing Model). We may react as if a past experience is happening again even if the present circumstance is different. This happens with both positive and negative past experiences. Essentially, we see the world based on what we have experienced in our lives. This is why there are so many divergent experiences of the same circumstances.

We tend to project our experience out onto what is happening in the moment and onto other people. Depending on life experience and conditioning, you may see what is happening as positive or negative.

For instance, you are in a car accident. Every time you drive down that same road you get jittery and fear you will be in an accident. Or every time you see a white truck you start to panic. In this situation the location and the color and type of vehicle is a trigger. You will react as if you are in danger even if that vehicle and circumstance on the road currently are not causing a problem.

Or, why war veterans can have flashbacks of a mission gone bad even when they are state side in a safe environment. There would have been a component of the memory in their environment, a sight, sound, smell, taste, circumstance, sensation that was present during the mission that triggered the flashback. It could have been a simple as the sound of a bird or the wind that was the same in both situations.

I had a firefighter once who reported being triggered every time they drove by the location where they got injured and every time their neighbor put out their recycling. Ok, so the location makes sense but why the recycling? There was no recycling going on at the scene. The sound of the class clinking in the recycling bin triggered the memory of the glass breaking on the windshield of the car that hit him.

The brain stores a memory in different parts of the brain based on its components, sights, sounds, smells, sensation, tastes, location, circumstances and so on. The other than conscious parts of the brain can process billions of bits of information per second so it will associate current circumstances with past information lightning fast. It helps us apply learning to present circumstances but if past memories are not reprocessed it can give us unhelpful responses.

I often tell clients that EMDR therapy is like jump starting a battery in your car. When you get to the reprocessing phases of EMDR therapy, and you start reprocessing old memories your organic capacity to reprocess is activated. You continue to reprocess outside of therapy sessions. You essentially get more for your money since you continue to reprocess outside of your therapy sessions.

It can take a while to get to the reprocessing part of EMDR therapy, depending on your history, internal resources, ability to let go and let whatever happens happen, and your ability to change states from upset to calm. More about the EMDR therapy phases below.

When Dr Shapiro originally developed EMDR it was just a technique applied to upsetting memories. Over time there is much we have learned about EMDR and how it can be most effective. Sometimes people became too overwhelmed when reprocessing a memory, so we had to build in a phase to assess a person’s ability to reprocess memories and prepare them if they are not ready. EMDR therapy is now its own form of psychotherapy.

EMDR therapy is a comprehensive therapy all its own. Originally when it was just a technique. Now it has evolved into a full form of Psychotherapy. Some clinicians are still using it as a technique. Integrating it in with other things they do. This is different than from receiving EMDR therapy that comes from the benefit of its comprehensive approach that allows for other modalities to be used in Phase 2 to prepare people for reprocessing. More on the phases in the next article.

Very often when I hear people talking about boundaries they are actually talking about walls. “I had to put up my boundary.”

One of the most helpful trainings I took part in in the late 1990’s was Bodynamics. It originates out of Denmark and was developed by Lisbeth Marcher. Bodynamics is a body centered training that intricately looks at how our life experiences affect how we develop over time. Lisbeth and her colleagues looked at the physical, emotional and psychological development of children from in utero up to adolescents. They observed the muscular development at each stage and what the emotional and psychological development was at each stage and how the muscle tone in various parts of the body hold the healthy, or unhealthy development.

We learned to read bodies and could see what stages of development were interfered with either early or late in each stage of development, and in some cases both early and late. This training was critical for me in identifying what someone’s internal resources are or are not in Phase 2 of EMDR therapy, so I knew what needed to be built so reprocessing traumatic memories could be successful.

Boundaries were one of the areas that was very helpful. What I love about Bodynamics is there are activities to do with people that allows both myself and the client to see what they have and what is missing or has been breached because of trauma. The really fun part is that by repeating the activities regularly the internal resource will come back online. That is if someone is willing to do the work to repair the issue.

Our healthy or unhealthy development starts in utero. In utero we a just a clump of cells to start out with and we have no sense of separation from mother. We rely on both mother and father’s boundaries up until around age 2 when we go through our first process of separation. If our parents’ boundaries are not healthy then we will learn unhealthy boundaries early on. Our parents can’t give us what they don’t themselves have.

Of course there is also the boundary of our skin. This is where we can see issues if someone has sensory integration issues. They cannot stand to be touched. Working with skin boundaries can be helpful.

As we tend to explore the world separate from our parents, ie: a toddler running away from parents, getting overwhelmed without their boundaries and then running back to them, we learn to develop and rely on our own boundaries but they will be modeled from our parents.

Being reliant on our parents’ boundaries up to around age two is an energetic process. We have energetic boundaries that young. We sense things around us. We have this same capacity all of the time, but we are taught to ignore it or that it is woo woo. In fact, energetic boundary work I do with people is one of the most effective and empowering I have ever seen. There is just an organic unfolding of healthy energetic boundaries if people repeat the work consistently. There is no having to do anything about them.

The HeartMath Institute has spearheaded this kind of work through their research of coherence between heart and brain. They have actually been able to measure a field of energy around the heart that extends six feet from the heart outward. When the heart and brain are in coherence people have a naturally occurring energetic boundary around them that others can sense. When we don’t have it, we tend to suck in other people’s stuff and misidentify it as our own. We become incoherent. We lose our creativity. We are less productive, stressed. The people want to “put up their boundary” – WALL.

Back to this self-awareness thing I keep harping on. To res

tore your healthy boundaries you will need enough self-awareness to know when you have healthy boundaries, when you have no boundary and when you have walls. When you can catch yourself having dropped your boundary or having a wall up you can use tools to bring your boundary back online in a healthy way.

I have done energetic boundary work with people who have been victims of various kinds of abuse who have been stunned when they realized they were getting accurate signals not to trust the person who hurt them but had dismissed it because they did not trust themselves, let the perpetrators perspective override what they inherently knew. I have also done this same work with perpetrators who are wanting change in their lives, who have recognized that they were picking up the energetics of who did not have healthy boundaries, that they could take advantage of. In both cases, resourcing their boundaries bring people back into a healthy state of boundaries.

Healthy Boundaries

When we have healthy boundaries, we meet others at their boundaries and choose what we let in and what we do not. That does not mean we drop our boundary. It means there are areas our boundaries overlap but are still maintained.

Unhealthy Boundaries – No boundary

When someone has no boundary, they tend to feel other people’s emotions, sensations, thoughts and feelings within their own body, mind and emotions. They assume those experiences are their own, but they are not. They will tend to defer to others for what to think or feel or choose. Muscles are often collapsed and have little tone in them. As their boundaries are resourced and come online, they can sense what is going on with others but no longer feel it inside of themselves. This leaves more space to know what their own preferences are and choose based on that instead of defaulting to others.

Unhealthy Boundaries – Walls

Walls prevent anything from getting in. They also prevent anything from getting out. There is a rigidity in the muscular structure. Walls can be learned from parents, and they can form as a necessary protection from ongoing abuse and/or neglect of any kind. People can feel safer with walls but also very alone. Resourcing boundaries allows the walls to slowly release as the resources replace the need for walls.

As I mentioned in the beginning, walls are what most people refer to as boundaries, and many therapists teach walls as boundaries. There is really very little comprehensive training for therapist about boundaries. Boundaries are usually approached as mental construct instead of an exploration of how boundaries form, what healthy boundaries are, look and feel like, or how to restore healthy boundaries. They are talked about not experienced.

The important theme here is the restoration of healthy boundaries through experiential activities. When internal resources are built there is less of a need for the unhealthy structures, so those unhealthy structures can slowly change since there is a healthy and more stable alternative available.

That doesn’t mean that we may not need walls at times in our lives. For instance, if we speak up and let someone know what is not working for us or what we need and they don’t listen, then we need to set a limit and if they do not respect it, and we set it again and it is dismissed over and over we may need a wall, especially if things get more dangerous. We want a healthy hierarchy of responses, from speaking up and letting people know what works for us and what does not, to setting limits, to more reinforcement of this, to consequences to walls, as needed.

We see walls in some professions: law enforcement, military, other emergency services. The repeated exposure creates more of a need for self-protection, especially if the person has been traumatized over and over from their work. Usually, healthy boundary resourcing and resolution of the traumatic experiences tends to restore healthy boundaries.

The thing about walls is they take a lot of effort and energy. It can be very tiring and very isolating.

Two VERY important thing about boundaries are:

You have to know what is true for you and what is not! (There is that pesky Self-Awareness again.)

You have to tell people what is true for you, what is not, what works for you and what does not. If you don’t tell them then they cannot be respectful and honor that boundary, because they do not know. Which is why you have to know what is true for you and what is not and what works for you and what does not. (Why Self-Awareness is so important). Speaking up and letting people know is part of having boundaries.

After writing all of this it seems I should create some experiential classes for people to experience and explore healthy boundaries.

There are many things that affect our early development. Another VERY important early developmental experience is the activities we do as kids. Particularly in utero through infancy.

Did you know that when you are an infant and can do nothing for yourself, the innate wisdom within you knows exactly what to do to build the capacity to be able to focus, have impulse control, have good attention, and have healthy emotional regulation, good sensory integration and learn about the world?

As we lie on our bellies, we hear things or see things out of the corner of our eye, and our curiosity pulls us to discover what that is. We attempt to lift our heads to see but there is no tone in our muscles yet, so we are unable to do so. But our curiosity keeps pulling us to discover what that sound or sight is. We keep efforting to lift our heads over and over until we have built enough tone in our muscles where we can actually lift our head and see what captured our curiosity.

And then something else catches our eye, or we hear something, and try to see but can’t because we have to push up to see more and we don’t yet have tone in our arm muscles. But our curiosity pulls us to effort, effort until we are able to push up and discover what that is.

This curiosity keeps pulling us through different developmental stages, crawling (on our bellies), creeping (on hands and knees), sitting up and eventually walking.

The thing is that each of these activities also build neuropathways in our brain for doing these activities. The early work of crawling and creeping are particularly important for building neuropathways for focus, impulse control, attention, math, reading, sensory integration and emotional regulation. Just to name a few.

Isn’t our innate wisdom just stunning!

Here are some symptoms that will tell you if you have some neurological damage or delay: difficulty naming sensations or emotions, difficulty with attention, poor impulse control, unable to stay focused (ADD, ADHD); difficulty with math or reading skills (Dyslexia), clumsiness, difficulty with reading social cues, Autism, Asperger’s, lack of empathy, sensory overwhelm, emotional dysregulation, behavioral problems.

In some cases, we may have had good early developmental activity completion but have had some experience that has damaged our neuropathways. For instance, really high fever, head injury, or even a small bump on the head, chemical exposure, mold exposure.

If we are not allowed to do our developmental activities that our innate wisdom takes us through, we will have lifelong issues.

Unfortunately, we have several generations that have neurodevelopmental deficits. Why? It became really popular to put kids in swings, walkers, jumpy seats or seats that prop them on their back. What?

You see when an infant is in one of these contraptions, they are not doing their developmental activities to build neuropathways in their brains. There has been an explosion of ADD, ADHD, Autism, Asperger’s, learning disabilities, sensory-motor problems, and behavioral problems. It has become an epidemic. Almost the norm (Normal just means everyone is doing or has the same thing. That does not mean it is healthy.)

There is a way to repair this.

In the late 1990’s early 2000’s, medical doctors finally figured out that there was a correlation between the devices keeping kids from their developmental activities and these problems. They began telling parents their kids need tummy time. Unfortunately, many parents think and hour a day of tummy time is enough. Tummy time should be an ongoing throughout the day. Kids need time to do their developmental activities. And they need time to develop healthy attachment.

Which means being picked up, gazed into their eyes, and interaction with their parents. This is why parenting is a lot of work. You are helping your child to develop healthy attachment, psychological and emotional health and well-being, and a stable healthy personality. It takes time and attention.

(Picture in stock: Smiling mother sitting with baby outdoors, with baby touching mother’s face

Many parents have relied on swings, walkers, jumpy seats to entertain kids and keep them out from under their feet so they get things done. Now they have added screens to the mix, so kids are having more attachment issues, don’t develop empathy, and aren’t’ able to understand social cues to have healthy relationships.

There are a group of practitioners called NeuroDevelopmental Movement Specialist who are able to assess how each part of the brain is working and then prescribe developmental movements to build new neuropathways. This means the symptoms resolve and people begin to have the ability to focus, control impulses, attend appropriately, have good emotional regulation, be able to handle sensory stimuli without being overwhelmed. I have even seen people either greatly improve or resolve their Dyslexia.

If you have one or more of these issues you have three options.

1. Manage the symptoms usually with medication and or behavioral interventions.

2. Resolve the issues with NeuroDevelopmental Movement

3. Do nothing and do the best you can to live with the issues.

It is important to understand that a neurologist will not pick up these issues. I have had clients who had one or more concussions and their neurologist told them they were done with treatment and their brain had healed. They were unable to do the reprocessing work on their trauma. When I sent them to Bette Lamont, https://www.neurodevelopmentalmovement.org, she found their brain injuries were not resolved. In the cases of the clients who did the NeuroDevelopmental work the issues were resolved, and they were able to return to reprocessing trauma.

Bette has worked with and entire community where all the kids were having behavioral problems, ADD, ADHD, sensory motor issues, etc. When she started working with one family, she discovered all of the parents were or had been using various contraptions that were keeping kids off their bellies. The parents of her clients told the other parents, and she was able to work with all of them.

Another note. Often adoptive parents discover over time that their adoptive kids are having developmental issues. Adoptive parents are often unable to really know the background of the child before the child came to live with them. There are overseas orphanages that keep kids strapped to their backs in their cribs for the first two years of their lives. So, the children have severe neurodevelopmental delays and severe attachment issues.

Why don’t the neurologists pick up the problems. They don’t have the training the DevelopmentalMovement Specialists do.

Bette Lamont sees clients in a number of states. You can visit her website at: https://www.neurodevelopmentalmovement.org.

You can also look for a practitioner at: https://neurosolutions-international.squarespace.com

To critically think involves:

1. being open minded,

2. being curious,

3. suspending judgement (right-wrong, good-bad, black & white thinking)

4. being willing to see how individual parts or circumstances affects the whole,

5. being willing to be wrong,

6. not being attached to your perspective as the only right perspective.

So, for instance:

1. talking to a number of people from all walks of life,

2. gathering information from a variety of sources,

3. being curious about information from perspectives you are unfamiliar with or may disagree with.

This allows you to:

1. To see how this choice or action will impact others, including those different from you.

2. To get a variety of perspectives on how to address the issue, solve the problem, make a choice, create new possibilities.

3. To look at a bigger perspective of the issue.

4. Be more creative

5. Have better problem-solving capacities.

6. Identify bias (your own (self-awareness), and others).

The original Democracy of the United States was based on critical thinking.

1. Gathering information from all of those in the community.

2. Having a representative bring that information to representatives from other communities.

3. Bringing back to the community more information gathered from other representatives.

4. Acquiring more feedback.

5. Returning with more input for other representatives, to be able to make a choice that is the best interest in all who would be impacted.

We really no longer have a democracy. Our system now is based on people wanting power and meeting the needs of special interests.

Critical thinking can fend off mind control by not taking anything at face value or based on your own bias. To research what is being said, presented, sold, etc.

When you are locked into judgment, right-wrong, good-bad, I know-you don’t, your world is very small and self-centered.

Being curious is one of the healthiest and most self-empowering states you can experience. It opens the door to what you are not aware of and to more possibilities. When people step into curiosity doors open and new innovative ways to handle things become available.

I learned a lot sitting in circle. Where each person is allowed to share their experience and perspective without anyone else commenting. As each person shares their perspective and experience amazing information unfolds. Things I never experienced or thought of would emerge. My reference expanded and I could see new configurations that could be helpful for all.

The idea of brainstorming was a good one . Except now often when people brainstorm, they have an agenda to be right. If it is done with no attachment to outcome and a suspension of judgment, new configurations can come from a diversity of ideas.

One question I love to use to open things up is, “What is available that I cannot see because I am locked in my perspective?”

Very early in my career I worked in crisis centers and locked psychiatric programs. I was training staff to intervene with violent behavior, nonviolently. The first part of the training included looking at our own history, beliefs and triggers, and how they contribute to the interaction with someone threatening violence.

As a mental health professional, we are all taught in our degree programs about projection, we all project. We will see in others what we believe. What we believe is a product of our conditioning. We don't really see things as they are, we see them through our own filters. Quantum physics has proven that when we observe something, we change the outcome based on our own projections. This is also why I have mixed feelings about research. It can be helpful and has a lot of flaws when it comes to results for a number of reasons. But that is another post.

I always recommend my clients watch Michael Neil’s Ted Talk Video, “Why Aren’t We Awsomer?” He does a great job demonstrating what we think is not often what is. Click Here to see Michael Neil’s Ted Talk, “Why Aren’t We Awsomer?” I use this video in session to help clients discover how unreliable our mind really is (not).

When I provided training for working with violence nonviolently, and when I facilitate Somatic & Energetic Resourcing courses, and in my practice, my focus has been on tools to discover the difference between our conditioned beliefs and what is Authentically True. Tools for stepping out of our conditioned virtual reality and beliefs so we are no longer triggered by events around us. So, we can respond to what is occurring in present time, instead of being driven by the past. So, we can see the infinite possibilities we cannot see because of our limited conditioning and beliefs.

In EMDR therapy I often have to help my clients build a core stability, so the reprocessing of difficult memories is possible and easier. Many people report enormous change with these tools. The tools are the easily accessible during reprocessing, making reprocessing go easier.

Some people don't get it. Mostly because they are unwilling to give up what they think. They think that what they think is true and are not curious about what else is available. As AA says, “If you are thinking, you are stinking.” Often it just takes too much work for them to be aware enough to catch the patterning and make a new choice.

I have had some clients that move beyond feeling victimized by others and actually realize how they were perceiving things in the past was filtered through conditioning or in reaction the someone else’s difficulties and never had anything to do with them. They often take owner ship of the errors they made back then and spontaneously let go of the unhealthy entanglement between them and that person or persons. They are no longer projecting the same perceptions they had before letting go of old unhealthy conditioning and trauma.

Essentially this frees up the other person in very subtle ways and they spontaneously make their own changes without efforting. It is just an organic return to their own healthier, natural state. One person’s change affects everyone else around them.

One of the interesting things that often happens is as a person make changes the people around them begin to react. Very often the people around them become very uncomfortable with the healthy changes in the person and push back. This is not unusual as the original agreements for the relationship don’t include being healthier. Sometimes there is a temporary break in the relationship and the other person eventually adapts to the changes and the relationship continues. Sometimes the relationship no longer works due to the healthier change.

Very often when people don’t seem to be able to let change occur there are other entanglements with family, friends, culture, religion, previous generations that are contributing to the block. And they may need to let go of the projections, and entanglements that may include the urge to punish others. This is more advanced work. There is also a timing to it. People have to be ready to do this level of work and it is a huge step in being free. It is not a cognitive process. It is done on more of an subconscious/energetic level. Most often when we clear the blocks in the entanglements, they are able to spontaneously change. Things get easier.

Again, I really encourage you to watch Michael Neil’s Ted Talk: “Why Aren’t We Awsomer?” It is pretty eye opening.

When you or someone else is suffering people often say things like: “It’s over you can get on with it now.” “Why don’t you move on, get over it.”

The thing is, it is not over if the memory has not been organically reprocessed by your brain. What? You have an innate wisdom within you to move from dis-ease to health. Unless something gets in the way. This is what Francine Shapiro, PhD realized in her development of EMDR therapy. (More on that in a different post.)

To give a very blatant example, a war veteran will have a flashback of being in war and actually be reliving the memory. You may have known them as far back as early childhood and they would be unable to recognize you because their brain is reliving the memory. This happens to us all the time but not in such severe circumstances.

Components of Memory

Your brain stores memory in different components: sights, sounds, emotions, sensations, smells, tastes, beliefs, and thoughts. Most of those components are stored in the other than conscious parts of your brain. (See “Why I am not a fan of talk therapy – Part 1 for more information).

Any time a circumstance that has a similar sight, sound, emotion, sensation, smell, taste, belief or thought occurs in a current situation the unconscious parts of your brain may link back to a previous memory if that memory has not been reprocessed organically. This why sometime people seem to be having an inflated reaction to a current circumstance. They may actually be linking into a previous circumstance but not know it.

For instance, a friend of mine was having an inflated reaction when his wife would say something suddenly when he was driving. He thought it was a normal response to her louder expression. She knew he had been in an explosion in his family home when he was 2yo and knew he may still be having reactions to loud noises.

I am not able to do therapy with a friend but could do a brief intervention. I had him bring to mind the memory. He said he had no conscious memory of it. Not unusual since our conscious memory does not even start developing until age two. But there is always unconscious memory it (sounds, sights, emotions, sensations, etc).

He had heard the stories from family members. When I asked what happened to him when he recalls hearing the stories he had a physical and emotional discomfort come up. I did a brief intervention with him to disrupt the components from the memory. It only took about 5 seconds. When I asked him to bring up the memory of hearing about the explosion, he said the uncomfortable emotions and sensations did not come up. (Please note: brief interventions do not often have lasting results as there are other components of a memory that can still trigger a person. And, there can be other memories in a person’s network of memories that can be triggered.)

About six months later when I was visiting them, his wife told me that he no longer responds with an inflated reaction when she would say something suddenly with more volume, when he was driving. He did not seem to notice that he was no longer having a reaction. This is typical when a memory is reprocessed. Symptoms go away, and people will not get triggered by sights, sounds, smells, etc that occurred with the original memory. People often don’t even notice they are responding differently until someone points it out.

Another example is a firefighter I worked with who had been hit by a car after finishing a call. One of the things that would trigger them was every time their neighbor would put out their recycling. Now why would that be? It has nothing to do with a car and there was no accident.

The sound of the glass clinking in the recycle bin was triggering the memory of the glass breaking in the windshield of the car when it hit them.

You can see that memories from the past do inform how we perceive and respond to circumstances in present time. So just getting over it is not necessarily so easy. It depends on how a memory is stored. It depends on if your brain was able to organically reprocess it. Sometimes the brain is unable to reprocess it. This can happen when there is a big shock. It can also happen if the same kind of thing keeps happening over and over so resolution cannot occur.

When I started my search for what would create sustained change for people I explored various spiritual traditions, energetic healing methods and body centered psychotherapies. What I learned from all of them is that we have an innate wisdom within us (well really it is not within us, it is us) that knows how to heal, physically, emotionally and psychologically. It is usually our conditioning (what we are told to believe or how to see the world, ourselves and others) or shock trauma that prevents us from healing spontaneously.

When you know how real profound change occurs it is not from thinking, figuring, understanding from our prefrontal cortex, it is from our innate wisdom/truth. Thinking, figuring & understanding from that much slower part of the brain (which processes only 6 bits of information per second – see “Why I am not a fan of talk therapy – Part 2) is out of the way and innate wisdom/truth can do what it knows how to do.

This is why EMDR therapy works so well. When the eye movements are going fast enough you cannot think. I have had many clients who have commented on how much gets done when they are not thinking. They begin to notice the difference between thinking and reprocessing.

The other than conscious parts of the brain (that process billions of bits of information per second) can change things exponentially if allowed to do what they are capable of. This is why “alternative” therapies can often seem so miraculous. Really, they should be the default form of realigning ourselves with our innate wisdom/truth.

Of course, innate wisdom/truth is no longer valued in current western culture. That is a really sad statement. The anxiety I see in clients in this day and age, is perpetuated by conditioning. How they should be or not be; what they should be doing, or not doing. Life is not done by who we are, and expressing our own unique talents, and how that contributes to the whole. It is done by looking the right good way, acting the right good way, having the looking good job, making the most money, and on and on.

In studying alternative treatments, I observed that sometimes change would occur and then return to old, conditioned patterns. This is why I found energetic forms of treatment, body centered treatments and cognitive treatments were not as reliable as independent forms of treatment. What I realized is the reason the change was not sustained is that things had to change throughout their system, energetically, physically, emotionally which would result in a spontaneous change cognitively. Once change occurred on all of these levels, change became consistent.

When I learned EMDR therapy I already had experience with “alternative” treatments so how EMDR works and how to implement it was relatively easy. For practitioners who are now just trained in cognitive forms of treatment is it much more of an up hill journey. They really have to unlearn what they have learned, or should I say how they have been conditioned.

EMDR therapy uses the physical, emotional and cognitive limitations to start the reprocessing and the innate wisdom/truth within does the work, and things change energetically. It really does not make sense. Which is why so many clinicians were so opposed to it in the early days, they could not “figure it out.” Dr. Sharpiro, founder of EMDR, was really smart to push for research knowing it was the only way to get clinician out of their limitations and see that it worked.

There are many experiential and energetic activities I use in Phase 2 of EMDR therapy which assess someone’s readiness for reprocessing. These experiential activities build a strong foundation for reprocessing to go well. People need a stable internal sense of self and internal resources for reprocessing to occur. This why Phase 2 was built into EMDR. EMDR therapy is about building in resources that a person needs, and reprocessing experiences that limit them and cause symptoms.